I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
