The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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