I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
