if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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