Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize
