upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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