I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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