Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
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