The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
