I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
