Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
home. puking in laundry basket.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
