y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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