I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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