it hurts more in the daytime
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
