No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
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is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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