Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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