Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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