Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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