singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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