Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize