Jerry, you need to find god
I think my fart just growled at me.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
wow bdsm is so cute
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
