forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
