Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
