Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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