thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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