put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
