glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
just tell him i said nine months
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
