Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
