I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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