I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize