I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
