Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
bring money and cleavage
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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