I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
