your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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