Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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