where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
