I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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