Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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