Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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