so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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