i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i think i have two assholes
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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