just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize