We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
