I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
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