Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
