Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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