did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
