Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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