I just made out with a guy for $7.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Randomize
