Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Randomize
