TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
