she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
