you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
