as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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