brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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