i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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