i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Randomize
