Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I would fuck him just for his dog
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
