Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Randomize
