If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Randomize
